To fear and to dream an impossible dream

Recently I've realized that it is not death that I need to fear. I fear death before because I somehow weak in faith about afterlife. The thought creeps me when I think that when I dieed I cannot think anymore, no feelings, no perception, no life and it is only nothingness. As I myslef an, not outgoing, but adventurous guy cannot think wht it feel to feel nothing. That thought creeps me since I was a child. I don't know if my faith in my religion strenthens or that someone help me to conquer that fear that now I didn't think about death like that again.

Yet a new phobia arises, the phobia that I think cannot just be solved with strong faith or resolution. It is the fear to to be alone in the world, not physically but psychologically. It is what makes me insane. It cause Jealousy to strengthen in my nature. Just this past weeks I feel tremendous jealousy that I don't know why it happen I just feel it. I think because I just don't have some communication with 'her' for a while, I felt that I was left alone in the abyss. This is because I think my whole existence, my daily routine, my phone and my load is only about 'her'. But I come to realization that my existence for her is nothing. That makes me mad again then I thought that I have two option: to force my existence to her, a way that is quick yet has terrible consequence, or I will wait for her to realize my existence, which I sure might take eternity. For I am an impatient person, I really want the former but my logic overwhelms me and I took the latter though I believe that sooner or later I might revert to my original choice. How long will I can hold the pain of loneliness? How long I can stand to be away from you? That might be a matter how strong my resolution to be with you, I think. I hope that sooner I would have your answer, even it is a no, I will gladly accept it as long it is really your will.

This loneliness is somehow reduced because of my dream...

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This is a writing written to all emos. A writing to show what you feels.

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*GLBCabria Publications*

How hot thermodynamics is?

1. Determine whether the heat evolved at constant pressure is >,< or is equal to the heat evovled at constant volume in the reaction below. Explain Your Choice.
O2(g) + 2 C3O2(g) ===> 6 CO(g)

2. Determine whether the heat evolved at constant pressure is >,< or is equal to the heat evovled at constant volume in the reaction below. Explain Your Choice.
CH4(g) + 2 O2(g) ===> CO2(g) + 2 h20(g)

3. The reaction responsible for the defensive explosive discharge of the bombardier beetle is C6H4(0H)2(aq) + 2 H2O2(aq) ===> C6H4O2(aq) + 2 H2O(l)
Calculate enthalpy change in kJ/mole for the reactio from the ff.
C6H4(0H)2(aq) ===> C6H4O2(aq) + H2(g) ΔE=-0.177 kJ/mole
O2(g) + 2 H2O(l) ===> 2 H2O2(aq) ΔE=+0.044kJ/mole
H2O(l) ===> 1/2 O2(g) + H2(g) 1. Determine whether the heat evolved at constant pressure is >,< or is equal to the heat evovled at constant volume in the reaction below. Explain Your Choice.
O2(g) + 2 C3O2(g) ===> 6 CO(g)

2. Determine whether the heat evolved at constant pressure is >,< or is equal to the heat evovled at constant volume in the reaction below. Explain Your Choice.
CH4(g) + 2 O2(g) ===> CO2(g) + 2 h20(g)

3. The reaction responsible for the defensive explosive discharge of the bombardier beetle is C6H4(0H)2(aq) + 2 H2O2(aq) ===> C6H4O2(aq) + 2 H2O(l)
Calculate enthalpy change in kJ/mole for the reactio from the ff.
C6H4(0H)2(aq) ===> C6H4O2(aq) + H2(g) ΔE=-0.177 kJ/mole
O2(g) + 2 H2O(l) ===> 2 H2O2(aq) ΔE=+0.044kJ/mole
H2O(l) ===> 1/2 O2(g) + h2(g) ΔE=+0.286kJ/mole

First Day of A new Life

It is srtat of a new soohcl yaer and I've been happy to be hree in UP. My frsit day ystready was so tiring bacesue its my first time to walk aournd a large palce like UP and i need to walk fast. Well I'll keep this entry short becasue I'm so tired and I can't write/type clearly. WELL STARTING YESTERDAY I'AM OFFICIALLY INSIDE THE UP EDUCATION!

A never ending night.

===================================================================

Even how good a soldier you are, there will be time that you will be captured and the need to escape from your captors. The first rule when you are taken as POWs(Prisoners-of-war) is that escape when you are fittest or at the moment you are captured because if you don't your captors will torment you physically, emotionally and mentally. So you must master the SEE or Survival, Escape & Evation techniques and SOPs so that you can escape safely.

I won't discuss it here, if you want to know the SEE techniques, join the UP ROTC because we learn it and also apply it. Yes, we apply it. We have practical exercises through simulations. SO what you are waiting for join the UP ROTC now.

===================================================================

07.00h 17 May 2008

We started our double training day. There is an emminent rain coming. Capt Hermitanyo comes and told us to change into PT(Physical Training) Uniforms. After that we have some exercises and then jog the 2.2km acad oval. As we jog rain somehow started to pour so we hastened the exercise and returned immediately to the Vanguard Bldg. After that we have some pushups, situps and pull-ups. I can't believe that I did 50 pushupsm, almost non-stop, and also did one pullup. Then we rest for a bit.

10.00h 17 May 2008

Vanguard Cunanan gives us a Ropemanship review then thought as about the Disaster Response, Relief and Rescue mainly focusing on Rappeling. Then we have some Rappeling exercise; we just need to get down from a 20ft rappeling tower. At first it can be scary but if have tried it you'll be addicted to it.

13.00h 17 May 2008

We have a break.

13.30 17 May 2008

We proceed to the Firing Range. There awaits our marksmanship practicals with Maj Ramos but it was somehow postponed because of the limited time. But still, I got a shot and I hit the styro target. Then we have some Infantry lectures: organiztion of infantry, their formations and operations.

17.00 17 May 2008

We have some CTIS(Combat Training for Individual Soldier). We review first the CTIS movements like the Drop, rush, stalking, and the crawls. Then after that we have some exercises. We drop rush and do the stalking movements on the DMST(Dept of Mil Sci and Tactics) Quadrangle. Then on the muddy Quad we also do the crawls (Baby, low, high, back, snake, crab walk). Gladly, we are on our TFUs so we are protected from the mud and grass cuts.

19.00 17 May 2008

We have a break. And we Practice

19.30 17 May 2008

We Start The Boodle Fight. Century Tunas Flakes in oil and only a rice is what we had for the dinner but the boodle fight is very fun well some says it was yuck but well its fun for me.

20.00h 17 May 2008

We proceed to the firing range. There We have our smoker's night. It started with the commandants' long speech. Then my group present first in the talent show. We do some skit about a Talent show for COs. We impersonate our COs there. I hope they didn't get mad on our impersonation. The comes Batch Com's group they did some singing. They import me and have me sing with Nina. Well I can say I'm lucky for once even though I know she only jokes about me. Well then next is the class performance where we do the tetada dance. After that we have our COs performed I'd say that their skit is the same to us but much better in quality. I think Lt Roxas deserve a famas award he is very great actor.

22.00h 17 May 2008

We return to our quarters and have some sleep. Well I can't say that I Sleep but it more of a Nap. They gave us only 3 hours of sleep.

01.40 17 May 08

Alarm was sounded for the start of the SEE practicals and POW simulation. We were blind fold and was led to the releasing point from there we must go to the vanguard 3rd floor to get our lower TFUs. At the start we have hard time to enter or go near the bldg because it was heavily sentried. I and my Buddy Amar, was caught once in the stairs and we receive 20 STPs for that. But by 02.30h we reached the 3rd floor and then we head to the NCO's office down in the complex. We used our old route backed to the complex at that time rain pour heavily as we tried to enter the complex. We used some leaf as comouflauge. Inside the NCO, we received our upper TFUs. We used again our old route then out maneuver the sentries when we used the back route or the route near the Magsaysay Road leading to the firing range where the cap is. We were almost caught when we enter the range because one sentry was resting there. We then followed the Magsaysay route as we go to the base of Rappeling tower, the extraction point. On our way we didn't see Capt Hermitanyo hiding on the tree there he caught us but he let us go. We are the 5th to arrive there.

05.00h 18 May 2008

We have a debriefing about the SEE practicals. We analyzed out mistakes and also laugh out the funny moments including our leaf comouflauge.

06.00h 18 May 2008

We were dismissed. I take a bath in the Complex' bathroom because I smell like those in the RSCT and worse because of the mud in my clothes. After that I go to Kalai to deliver Nina's Phone because she left it at the lounge. Then I proceed to the Coop for some breakfast.

07.00h 18 May 2008

My body is down and I have a large bag on my back, I went to mass in the UP Chapel. I fell asleep that's why I miss the sermon somehow. After that I went Home and have a very nice long nap.

16.43h 18 May 2008

I wake up and have myself some lunch. Then I went out to have some fun

22.33h 18 May 2008

I just finished writing this post.

*************CABRIA, OUT*****************

**End of Transmission**

A never ending night.

===================================================================

Even how good a soldier you are, there will be time that you will be captured and the need to escape from your captors. The first rule when you are taken as POWs(Prisoners-of-war) is that escape when you are fittest or at the moment you are captured because if you don't your captors will torment you physically, emotionally and mentally. So you must master the SEE or Survival, Escape & Evation techniques and SOPs so that you can escape safely.

I won't discuss it here, if you want to know the SEE techniques, join the UP ROTC because we learn it and also apply it. Yes, we apply it. We have practical exercises through simulations. SO what you are waiting for join the UP ROTC now.

===================================================================

07.00h 17 May 2008

We started our double training day. There is an emminent rain coming. Capt Hermitanyo comes and told us to change into PT(Physical Training) Uniforms. After that we have some exercises and then jog the 2.2km acad oval. As we jog rain somehow started to pour so we hastened the exercise and returned immediately to the Vanguard Bldg. After that we have some pushups, situps and pull-ups. I can't believe that I did 50 pushupsm, almost non-stop, and also did one pullup. Then we rest for a bit.

10.00h 17 May 2008

Vanguard Cunanan gives us a Ropemanship review then thought as about the Disaster Response, Relief and Rescue mainly focusing on Rappeling. Then we have some Rappeling exercise; we just need to get down from a 20ft rappeling tower. At first it can be scary but if have tried it you'll be addicted to it.

13.00h 17 May 2008

We have a break.

13.30 17 May 2008

We proceed to the Firing Range. There awaits our marksmanship practicals with Maj Ramos but it was somehow postponed because of the limited time. But still, I got a shot and I hit the styro target. Then we have some Infantry lectures: organiztion of infantry, their formations and operations.

17.00 17 May 2008

We have some CTIS(Combat Training for Individual Soldier). We review first the CTIS movements like the Drop, rush, stalking, and the crawls. Then after that we have some exercises. We drop rush and do the stalking movements on the DMST(Dept of Mil Sci and Tactics) Quadrangle. Then on the muddy Quad we also do the crawls (Baby, low, high, back, snake, crab walk). Gladly, we are on our TFUs so we are protected from the mud and grass cuts.

19.00 17 May 2008

We have a break. And we Practice

19.30 17 May 2008

We Start The Boodle Fight. Century Tunas Flakes in oil and only a rice is what we had for the dinner but the boodle fight is very fun well some says it was yuck but well its fun for me.

20.00h 17 May 2008

We proceed to the firing range. There We have our smoker's night. It started with the commandants' long speech. Then my group present first in the talent show. We do some skit about a Talent show for COs. We impersonate our COs there. I hope they didn't get mad on our impersonation. The comes Batch Com's group they did some singing. They import me and have me sing with Nina. Well I can say I'm lucky for once even though I know she only jokes about me. Well then next is the class performance where we do the tetada dance. After that we have our COs performed I'd say that their skit is the same to us but much better in quality. I think Lt Roxas deserve a famas award he is very great actor.

22.00h 17 May 2008

We return to our quarters and have some sleep. Well I can't say that I Sleep but it more of a Nap. They gave us only 3 hours of sleep.

01.40 18 May 2008

Alarm was sounded for the start of the SEE practicals and POW simulation. We were blind fold and was led to the releasing point from there we must go to the vanguard 3rd floor to get our lower TFUs. At the start we have hard time to enter or go near the bldg because it was heavily sentried. I and my Buddy Amar, was caught once in the stairs and we receive 20 STPs for that. But by 02.30h we reached the 3rd floor and then we head to the NCO's office down in the complex. We used our old route backed to the complex at that time rain pour heavily as we tried to enter the complex. We used some leaf as comouflauge. Inside the NCO, we received our upper TFUs. We used again our old route then out maneuver the sentries when we used the back route or the route near the Magsaysay Road leading to the firing range where the cap is. We were almost caught when we enter the range because one sentry was resting there. We then followed the Magsaysay route as we go to the base of Rappeling tower, the extraction point. On our way we didn't see Capt Hermitanyo hiding on the tree there he caught us but he let us go. Then we ended as the 5th to finish.

05.00h 18 May 2008

We have a debriefing about the SEE practicals and we analyzed our mistakes. Also We thank the Sponsors who had join in our activity.

06.00h 18 May 2008

I take a bath at the complex bathroom. Then I head to Kalai to deliver Nina's phone because she left it at the lounge. Then I go to the Coop to eat breakfast.

07.00h 18 May 2008

I go to mass at UP chapel. I fell asleep during the mass that's why I didn't fully understand the sermon and the mass. Then after that I go home and fell asleep, supere asleep that I didn't notice that my neice had visited me.

16.43h 18 May 2008

I got up and take my lunch. And then I went out to buy some books.

22.22h 18 May 2008

I just finished writing this blog.

**********************************THIS IS CABRIA, I'M OUT*******************************************

**End of Transmission**

List OF MBB qualifiers...

I'm Hunting people of MBB batch'08 because I'm going to check if how many of them will really go to MBB...
here are some:

2008-34363
+ - see notes AGGABAO, LARIELYN HOPE CAYADO DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology
2008-68018
+ - see notes ANGELES, KATRINA CUSTODIO DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology
2008-67896
+ - see notes ALCANTARA, KRIZELLE MAE MANDIGMA DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology
* - see notes
+ - see notes
++ - see notes BARTILAD, KATHRIN BALAORO DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology
2008-67927
+ - see notes BERNARDO, NOEL LANDICHO DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology
2008-67947
+ - see notes
++ - see notes BORLONGAN, GABRIEL RONQUILLO DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology
2008-67928 BORROMEO, NICOLI ARTHUR BALITA DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology
2008-67930
+ - see notes BROMEO, ALBERT JOHN CAASI DILIMAN BS Molecular Biology & Biotechnology

The School Year had come to an end

The school year had come to an end for me.

There are still many things to do.

I haven't yet completed all my goals in high school

yet end is near.

Last day is the last day of the school year...

I think I just wasted the whole last week for nothing.

~March 24: I am travelling from Bicol to Manila so I don't have anything done in the school

~March 25: I had a hangover from the trip so I miss all the opportunities to ask her.

~March 26: All the planning I had done on 25's night gone to waste, she is with her friends and I don't want to disturb them because that might be rude. SO I end up all day waiting for her yet the chance didn't come.

~March 27: In the morning, I give way to a friend. I let him and him to enjoy their time with her leaving me out of the scene. In the Afternoon, I have the chance when we are at the table and he is away but my friend (girl) ask some favor from me and I can't refuse. Then she drove me away so that i can help my friend.

~March 28: The time had come. Noon break, we are sitting in the table. I acting like doing something but truthfully I'm just staring at her and looking how cute she was eating beacon. The other he came but left early. With our classmates, we are enjoying the break while i am "cramming" then IT is the time to ask her, the first words came out but she didn't heard it clearly and seems she didn't heard it totally because my classmate take away the attention. Then my classmate and she make fun of me somehow. I then just wait and wait until i have the time. but then the time didn't come because we have a grad practice in the afternoon.

Well I am pathetic or what?! Damn why does I am always late. When my gradma and my uncle died it is only one week before I return home. I didn't got the chance to see them. When my old crush ask me for an opinion if she will to transfer to diliman, my answer is a day late because she had confirmed already to Manila. And now, I know that she feel special since the start but only this last three months that I realized it and with the help of other people. Am I that unlucky? I don't want to "emo" here because she might be repelled.

Well...

I don't know, will I ask that question anymore or not? damn hell!

Note: This is a rate R (Restricted) blog sorry for the cursed words that was used.

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PHILOSOPHY OF GLBCABRIA

Some people tries or forcefully trying to sync their love ones to them. For me it is the other way around. We specially the boys must be the one synchronizing for our love one. IT may look plastic but that is for me the best idea. We can be plastic but also we can be true to ourselves as we synchronize. Well it might be fate if we are true to ourselves as we synchronize or maybe god's will. This is only my opinion so if others doesn't like it please talk to me so that my view might be broaden.